Over the last few months, I have been spending some time with a counsellor to work on several aspects of my life.
One of the recommended resources has been the work of Russ Harris. In particular, I have been going through his excellent book on relationships. ACT with love.
The DRAIN acronym, in the book, was originally designed to help individuals reflect on relationship dynamics.
As I looked at it further I realized that you can apply it to understand how to improve your marketing approach.
As a small business owner, marketing can often feel like a relationship — one that needs care, attention, and constant communication to thrive.
However, without self-awareness, certain behaviours and mindsets can “drain” your efforts, leaving you feeling disconnected, reactive, and stuck.
By using the DRAIN acronym, originally designed to help individuals reflect on relationship dynamics, we can apply it to understand how to improve your marketing approach.
Let’s explore how Disconnection, Reactivity, Avoidance, Inside-your-mind, and Neglecting values could be undermining your marketing success and how you can shift toward a healthier, more sustainable strategy.
D – Disconnection: Losing Touch with Your Audience
In relationships, disconnection can manifest as emotional distance, boredom, or a lack of communication.
In marketing, disconnection happens when you lose touch with your target audience. This might look like sending out generic messages, not engaging with feedback, or failing to understand what your customers truly need.
For example, if your marketing materials feel stagnant or out of touch with current trends, your audience might feel disengaged.
You may also find yourself frustrated when marketing efforts aren’t yielding the same results as they once did.
Solution: Reconnect by actively engaging with your customers. Survey your audience, refresh your branding, and use social media as a tool for meaningful interaction.
Regularly check in on their evolving needs and preferences, and ensure your marketing reflects that. This will create a stronger, more connected relationship with your customers.
R – Reactivity: Responding with Impulse Instead of Strategy
In relationships, reactivity often involves impulsive behaviours like yelling or making hurtful statements.
In marketing, this can look like a knee-jerk reaction to low sales, competition, or negative feedback. Perhaps you throw out a hastily made offer, slash your prices, or put up an emotional post that lacks strategy and planning.
Reacting impulsively can make your marketing feel scattered and inconsistent, which confuses your audience and undermines your brand’s credibility.
Solution: Take a step back before reacting to challenges. Instead of impulsively changing tactics, assess the situation with a calm, strategic mindset.
Focus on long-term goals rather than short-term fixes. Consistency is key — a well-thought-out marketing plan will yield better results than reactive, emotionally driven decisions.
A – Avoidance: Dodging the Hard Work
Avoidance in relationships can manifest as withdrawing or using distractions to escape difficult emotions.
In marketing, this might look like avoiding crucial tasks, such as updating your website, sending out newsletters, or engaging with your audience on social media because you feel overwhelmed or outside your comfort zone.
Many business owners find themselves avoiding analytics, afraid to confront the reality of underperforming campaigns or low engagement rates.
Solution: Acknowledge the tasks you’ve been avoiding and break them down into manageable steps.
If you’re unsure how to tackle certain aspects of your marketing (e.g., social media, SEO, or email marketing), consider outsourcing to professionals or taking time to educate yourself on the best practices. Facing these areas head-on will give you the clarity and confidence to make necessary improvements.
I – Inside-your-mind: Trapped in Negative Thinking
Just as repetitive negative thoughts and judgments can harm a relationship.
The same happens in marketing when you’re stuck in self-doubt, overanalyzing every detail. Are you constantly comparing yourself to competitors, obsessing over every word in a blog post, or worrying that your messaging isn’t “good enough”?
This self-criticism can cause paralysis, preventing you from launching new initiatives or experimenting with fresh ideas.
Solution: Silence the inner critic by focusing on progress, not perfection. Take action even if it’s imperfect.
Trust that growth and success come from learning as you go. Remember, no marketing plan is flawless, and every business has its unique path to success. Let go of the negative spirals and focus on forward momentum.
N – Neglecting Values: Straying from Your Core Mission
In relationships, neglecting personal values like kindness or compassion can cause tension and conflict.
Similarly, in marketing, neglecting your business’s core values can create a disconnect between your brand and your audience.
Perhaps you’ve strayed from the authenticity that originally attracted customers in favour of chasing quick wins or following trends that don’t align with your mission.
Neglecting your values might also show up in your messaging. For instance, if you started with a focus on customer service but are now prioritizing profit over relationships, your audience will feel the shift and may lose trust in your brand.
Solution: Revisit your business’s core values and ensure they’re reflected in your marketing efforts.
Is your messaging consistent with the principles that make your brand unique?
Do your campaigns align with your mission?
Staying true to your values not only strengthens your brand but builds lasting relationships with customers who share those values.
Revitalize Your Marketing with Self-Awareness
Just like in personal relationships, your strategy requires self-awareness, reflection, and a commitment to growth.
By addressing the DRAIN elements — Disconnection, Reactivity, Avoidance, Inside-your-mind, and Neglecting values — you can identify the areas where your efforts may be falling short and take meaningful steps toward improvement.
When you stop draining your energy on reactive, disconnected, or avoidant habits and start focusing on consistency, connection, and value-driven marketing, your business will not only attract more customers but build deeper, lasting relationships with them.
Remember, marketing is more than just selling — it’s about fostering trust, loyalty, and meaningful connections with your audience.
Thank you to Barik5ive on Pexels.com for the image.